Funny, Cute & Best Instagram Bios 2018

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Collection Of Funny, Cute & Best Instagram Bios 2018

Instafram bios

Instagram Bios for Girls

Fabulous ends in “us” coincidence? I think not.
I looked at my Instagram photos and realized I look beautiful.
My mother told me not to talk to strangers. I never talk to myself anymore.
Friday, my second favorite F word.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create an Instagram account.
Born at a very young age.
Its not an attitude ,its the way I am.
I do yoga sometimes, drink sometimes, party sometimes, and study rarely.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not strong enough.
You’re right. I’m NOT perfect. But I’m unique.
Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship.
My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos and sweatpants.
If I delete your number, you’re basically deleted from my life.
I’ve always thought being popular on Instagram is as about as useless as being rich in monopoly.
God is really creative , i mean .just look at me.
I’m not glad it’s “Friday” I’m glad it’s “Today”. I Love my life 7 days a week.
Please don’t forget to smile.
You can follow me if you feel like it. You can also put peanut butter in your but#hole, if you feel like it.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
This isn’t rocket science, you take a photo of brunch and you hashtag #yolo #sundayfunday.
My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
I’m COOL but Global Warming made me HOT.
I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice.

Read also: Best instagram selfie captions

nstagram Bios

Cute Instagram Bios

Due to an intense mind fog, all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.
So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.
Award-winning alcohol evangelist. Total introvert. Wannabe troublemaker. Bacon enthusiast.
Life is dumb and I want to sleep.
Mama said life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get.
God bless this hot mess.
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Hipster-friendly coffee enthusiast. Hardcore music specialist. Internet maven. Communicator.
Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer.
Trying to forget it but the memories are too strong.
I work for money, for loyalty hire a Dog.
They used to shout my name, now they whisper it.
People of my age are busy with Relation, break up, heart break, patch ups and I am still figuring out a way to wake up before 10 am.
I think you are lacking vitamin me.
Silent people have the loudest minds.

Cool Instagram Bios

Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off.
I am definitely a morning person if morning starts from noon ??.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
The only person on Instagram who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
Real men don’t take selfies.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
I am known at the gym as the “before picture.”.
What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?.
Always give your 100 percent ….unless you’r donating blood.
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it.
Bio under construction…check back soon .
I only use Instagram to stalk….
I’m going to update my Bio….but better you focus on your own.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.” – some dead guy.
I don’t make mistakes, I date them.
Professional procrastinator.
I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
Why look up at the stars when the biggest star is me.
There are no winners in life… only survivors.
There are two kinds of people in this world… And I don´t like them.
Born to express not to impress.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?.
God gave me a lot of hair, but not a lot of height.
In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
I Can’t remember who I stole my bio from or why.
I am so open-minded, my brains will fall out some day.
What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
1f you c4n r34d 7h15, you r34lly n33d 2 g37 l41d.
I’m Jealous of My Parents… I’ll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs.
Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my a$$.
Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
YOU MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS YOU DON’T TAKE. – WAYNE GRETZKY.
When you love me like that, I melt into honey. Let’s be sweet together.

Best Instagram Bios for Teenagers

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Knowledge is knowing what to day.Wisdom is knowing whether to say it or not.
Well, here I am! What are your other two wishes?
Probably the best meat eater in the world.
I want a cute, long relationship where everyone is like damn they’re still together?
You’re doing it wrong.
Stop being in the Rat Race and start living your life.
What do you think of the view?
I’ve realized that the Beatles got it wrong. Love isn’t all we need—love is all there is.
Whatever you do in life, make sure it makes you happy.
I’ve been waiting hours and I’ll be waiting for hours more, till my love arrives and my heart’s fulfilled.
We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police.
I’ve never been able to figure out this damn instagram bio thing.
I was born. When I was 11, I got my first computer. Then I started posting pics on instagram. That’s still what I am doing. The end.
Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
Amateur internet scholar. Professional gamer. General social media geek. Thinker. Bacon fanatic. Total beer maven. Infuriatingly humble reader.
CGPA available for adoption – Can’t raise it myself.
On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 11.
Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
I never make the same mistake twice.A minimum of 5-7 times is typically necessary in order for me to learn anything.
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.
I’m your worst nightmare.

Creative Instagram Bios

Beer junkie. Writer. Incurable web fan. Hardcore alcohol trailblazer. Amateur internet ninja.
Truth is, I’m crazy for you. And everyone can see that but you.
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
It’s very difficult to be great. Losers prove this point continuously.
Making History.
Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.
When you fall for someone’s personality, almost everything about them becomes handsome and beautiful.
3 things I want in a relationship: Eyes that wont cry, lips than wont lie, and love that wont die.
Introvert. Creator. Coffee nerd. Infuriatingly humble beer aficionado. Organizer.
Life is too short to update instagram bio.
Instagram bio is loading….
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
I wanna be different just like everyone else.
Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.
Since light travels faster than sound, i appear bright until you hear me speak.
A human. Being.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my instagram bio….
Web buff. Devoted tv expert. Entrepreneur. Travel fanatic.
Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them.
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.
Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
Relationships these days start by pressing like on her photo.
I hold the key to world peace, but somebody changed the lock.
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?
The best of me is yet to come.
They say money doesn’t bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves.
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass … it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
I have this new theory that human adolescence doesn’t end until your early thirties.

Awesome Instagram Bios

Sometimes you never realize the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
A Caffeine dependent life-form.
Spreading smiles like they’re herpes.
You’re a 10, on the pH scale… Cuz you’re basic.
The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love.
Before you, I never believed in forever. Now, I know that is not long enough to spend with you.
Devoted reader. Hardcore alcoholic. Evil thinker. Explorer. Passionate student.
The most painful goodbyes are those which were never said and never explained.
A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.
Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.
Insert pretentious stuff about myself here.
Living vicariously through myself.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
That moment when you realize your childhood is over.
I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
Without you in my life, I would be incomplete. I pray that I should never know such pain.
Can anything be more valuable than our love? Since you are with me, my only measurement is in heartbeats.
I haven’t seen a sunrise in so long I joined instagram.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
I’ve fallen in love many times always with you.
People call me ” Mike”. But, you can call me tonight.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
Its not me….after Monday, Tuesday even calender says W,T,F….
I’m so poor that I can’t pay attention in class.
Words cannot express my love & passion for Fridays.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
I didn’t find out what happiness means until I got married… and then it was too late.
I am so poor,i cant even pay attention.
I will win, not immediately but definitely.
Everyone on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Some days start better than others.

Funny Instagram Bios

Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.
Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
When nothing goes right, go left instead.
I’m not lazy…I’m on energy saving mode.
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going.
One day I shall solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be alcohol.
I smile because I have no idea what is going on.
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
Sometimes one middle finger isn’t enough to let someone know how you feel. That’s why you have two hands.
I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.
I need a six month holiday, twice a year.
I only rap caucasionally.
If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment.
Have lots of hair and like ugly things.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
If I keep paying attention, I’m going to be in debt.
We are all going to hell, and I am driving the bus.
Our marriage is like work-shops. I work and my wife shops .
Women always call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Too busy to update a bio.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my Bio… .
Weird is a side effect of awesome.
Not all men are fools, some stay single.
Phones are better than girlfriends, at least we can switch them off.
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
My Brain Is Divided Into Two Parts: Right & Left.In Right Nothing Is Left.In Left Nothing Is Right.
My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts.
I say no to alcohol Daily, it just doesn’t listen.
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
People say you’ve changed, well I couldn’t stay a sperm forever could I.
Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?.
Everybody is so happy… I hate that.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Life is short… Smile while you still have teeth.

Stylish Instagram Bios

You’re too rad to be sad.
A lie is just a great story ruined by truth.
Weekend, please don’t leave me.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
I’m starting to like Instagram, which is weird because I hate pictures.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I’m saving my abstinence for marriage.
If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.
Time is precious, waste it wisely.
Who said money cant buy happiness, I think he was using money wrong.
Hey, you are reading my bio again?
A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. A dumb person creates it.
That cool moment when I feel proud….when a girl asks “Are you on Instagram?
I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
Beer is proof God Loves us and wants us to be happy.
Please insert pretentious crap about myself here.
Remember half the people you know are below average.
Silence is the most powerful scream.
My blood is made of coffee.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

Instagram bios

Best Instagram Bios

BAE: Bacon And Eggs.
Time flies… after you hit the snooze button.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle… He’s dreaming too.
I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’.
In some cultures what I do is considered normal.
All the blood, sweat, and tears will be worth it when I get to spend forever by your side.
If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling.
My silence/smile is just another word for my pain.
The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
Sometimes you just need some space… to fart.
I love you with the breath, the smiles and the tears of all my life.
Here to serve…. the cat overlord.
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
Die with memories, not dreams.
Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
White lips, pale face, I hate the entire human race.
Just another paper cut survivor.
Chocolate doesn’t ask questions, chocolate understands.
Don’t worry if you haven’t found your true love, they’re just with someone else right now.
I’m so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed.
I started with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.
Say Beer Can with a British accent. I just taught you to say Bacon with a Jamaican accent.
Social media fanatic. Problem solver. Passionate travel guru. Hipster-friendly coffee fanatic.
Stay strong, the weekend is coming.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
I will be back before you pronunce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.
Some people are alive only, because it’s illegal to kill them.
I wonder what happens when the doctor’s wife eats an apple a day….
I will go into survival mode if tickled.
Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with You.
I didn’t change, I just woke up.
The most you can expect from me is unconditional like.
Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.
Why would I ever leave the house when there’s Netflix and ice cream waiting for me.
Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.

Instagram Bios for Boys

This is my last Instagram bio ever.
Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it.
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.
If your not wasted, the day is.
Sometimes, it’s better to be alone… No one can hurt you.
I need patience. NOW.
Ladies, please.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Sometimes I’m not angry, I’m hurt and there’s a big difference.
There is no other woman in the world like you. I am the luckiest man alive to be able to call you mine.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, just like stupid falls from yours.
Is everything expensive or am i just poor.
When nothing seems right….go left!.
Don’t let your eyes be blinded by her beauty.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
Bio changed, just for the sake of changing it.
Every time I see you I fall in love all over again.
The road to success is always under construction.
Acts like summer & walks like rain.
I still miss my ex – but guess what? My aim is getting better.
Be who and what you want, period.
Warning!!! I know KARATE and few other oriental words.
I am not on Instagram. Go do something useful.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
You can’t have everything… where would you put it?
You think this is a game?
Don’t be like the rest of them, darling.
Losing everything but weight.
Don’t be sad because of people, they will all die.
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.

Cool Instagram Captions

Stay classy.
If you can’t get someone out of your head. Maybe, they are supposed to be there.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.
If I die tomorrow, will you remember me?
Don’t hit kids!!! No, seriously, they have guns now.
I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart..
Can bob the builder fix my bad attitude?
I think, therefore I’m single.
Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
I have Good News and Bad News to tell you. The Bad News is I don’t have Good News to tell you. And the Good News is I don’t have Bad News for you.
Heaven won’t have me and hell is afraid, I’ll take over.
Think about doing something than doing someone! ??.
In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency, notify….” I answered, “a doctor.”.
Things just ain’t the same for gangstas.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. Just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
No matter how strong of a person you are, there’s always someone who can make you weak.
Save water, drink beer.
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.
I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it.
Lives change like the weather. I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new.
You will never have anything you don’t respect, including lot’s of money.
That awkward moment when fails to recognize your own photo on the Instagram.
Just a cupcake looking for a stud muffin.
A book-store is only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
Light travels faster than sound… That’s why people appear bright until they speak.

instagram bios

Related article: Good instagram captions

Latest Instagram Bios

When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year & a half.
Stay sharp and far from timid.
Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
When I miss you it seems every song I listen to is about you.
REHAB is for quitters .
Camping is intents.
Save paper, don’t do homework.
I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
If there’s no love in the world,… let’s make some.
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
I act like I’m ok, but I’m really not.
I’m not glad it’s “Friday”, I’m glad it’s “Today”. Love your life – 7 days a week.
Never cry for that person who doesn’t know the value of your tears.
If you dare, take my hand and take me to where your heart is. I want to feel what it’s like to love like you.
While heaven must surely mourn the loss of one of its own, we mere mortals celebrate your grace.
I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One Don’t reveal everything.
Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoe.
I’d rather spend one moment holding you than a lifetime knowing I never could.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe one day you’ll find a brain back there.
I have not failed…my success just postponed for some time.
You can’t fix stupid, no matter how much duct tape you use over their mouth.
I need 6 months of vacation, twice a year.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Are you a banker because I’d like you to leave me a loan.
It’s funny how people say they miss you, but don’t even make an effort to see you.
I haven’t been myself ever since I was born.
The reason I like you is simple – love, laughter, and your smile.
I think it’s weird if a girl doesn’t have an Instagram now days.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Instagram bios

Top Instagram Bios

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
I’ll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
Study economics-when you’re unemployed, at least you’ll know why.
Error: Bio unavailable.
I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.
Proud tv fan. Professional problem solver. Friendly travel guru. Passionate alcoholaholic.
Yesterday, I changed my WiFi password to “Hackitifyoucan”; today, someone changed it to “ChallengeAccepted”.
Boys are like purses, cute, full of crap, and can always be replaced.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you…. but it’s still on my list.
Oh I’m sorry was my sass too much for you?.
I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
Student. Future teen idol. Friendly social media scholar. Alcohol nerd. Bacon junkie.
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
Don’t get a woman, get a dog… They are loyal and they die sooner.
Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?.
If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
I only drink on two occasions .When it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
The strawberry shampoo doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.
We all start as strangers.
Life is short, false; it’s the longest thing you do.
I shouldn’t be allowed to go on Snapchat, Facebook or Instagram when I’m drunk.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it
I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
My road to success always seems to be under construction.
Never try to teach a pig to sing- it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
I prefer my puns intended.
Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.
I swear to drunk I am not God.
I am not a player…I’m the game.
*Insert your bio here*.
Me fail English? That’s impossible.
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.
Work until your idols become your rivals.
I still don’t understand Instagram, but here I am.
One person’s LOL is another’s WTF.

So, these are the beautiful instagram bios found from the internet, hope you enjoyed reading amazing Instagram bios listed above.  You can copy and paste them in your Instagram profile.

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